Looney With A Capital I 2
by Noelle McHenry
Summary: Daffy Duck, now an ex-cashier at a modest little grocery store, is taken on the escape adventure of a lifetime by someone he never expected to see again. Possible slash pairing warning for future chapters.
1. La Ora di Punta

Daffy Duck screams hysterically as he desperately clings to the driver of the motorcycle he finds himself on. As the vehicle twists and turns its way through heavy traffic at a high speed, Daffy's mind is filled with things he should've written on his last will and testament.

For a long moment, the duck's mind is so preoccupied on fear of death that he finds that he is unable to recall just how, exactly, he came to be in this mess to begin with...

* * *

Daffy never suspected that he'd ever work two jobs. Yet even so, here he was working at this stupid grocery store.

Money is not Daffy's issue. Boredom, however, is.  
He works two jobs simply because he figures that's best for him; without anything else to do, he spends most of his free time talking to Bugs Bunny.

He scoffs and shakes his head. No, he's remembering wrong again. Talking to _himself_ would be the proper phrasing.

Since Bugs Bunny's apparent death, he's been very lonesome, so he at some point took to acting out lines and imagining Bugs by his side. However, ever since a package from "_B_" showed up at his doorstep, his imagination has been a little... strange, to say the least.  
Now, the last thing he wants to do is imagine.

However, he still hates people. He hates this secondary job, and in fact, he's beginning to wonder how in the world he was qualified for it.

As he stands there in a bored sort of way, he idly rings up the purchases of a customer he has not yet actually glanced at. The customer has not yet said a word, so Daffy isn't actually completely away of his presence; he's too caught up in his own thoughts.

When he reaches for another item and finds nothing, he finally snaps out of his trance and looks at the register. "That'll be twenty-stheven ninety-five. Debt or cash?" At this point, he finally looks up at his customer, and nearly reels back out of a stunned confusion.

Though it's hot as hell outside, the customer before him is fully dressed. A scarf covers his entire lower face, he wears large, dark sunglasses, a long-legged/long-sleeved biking suit in various shades of black and gray, black leather gloves, and a large baseball cap.

Daffy blinks a few times to make sure he's not just imagining this person. "... I think you're a credit card type of persthon." He sputters after a brief pause.

The customer says nothing, but instead seems to move a little to look past Daffy. When the duck turns his head, he sees another customer approaching, just as dressed up as the one currently standing in front of the register, but who stands around four feet tall.

Daffy whips his head back around to look at the customer who is to be paying in time to see said customer grab for his left wrist. He fails to react in time and ends up held by an iron grip, and is pulled out from behind the register. The customer breaks into a run, dragging Daffy along.

"Hey, lemme go you fr-" -The sounds of a shotgun going off, people shouting in unison, and a window shattering all pierce Daffy's eardrums at once- "-_HOLY CRAP_!"

The mysterious customer who appears to be playing rescuer shoves open the doors and pulls Daffy outside to the parking lot, and over to a prepped motorcycle.

"No way. You don't expect me to get on that with you, do you?" Daffy asks as the person releases his wrist and hops on.

The person turns his head toward Daffy, as if glaring at him, and the sound of another shotgun blast from inside the store fills the air.

"Point taken," Daffy says in a rushed manner and leaps on behind what was a customer but a few moments ago.

* * *

... and then he remembers, and he proceeds to scream louder.  
"STHTOP THISTH BIKE! _STHTOP THISTH BIKE!_" Daffy repeats over and over, but the driver only seems to push the motorcycle to go faster with each demand. "_AAAAAAAAHHH!_"

Though he's screaming on the outside, however, Daffy suddenly thinks, rather calmly so, '_I knew working at that damned sthupermarket wasth going to be the end of my career._'

He watches frantically as the ends of the scarf worn by his obviously crazed driver whips in the wind, and he worries for a moment that perhaps it could get caught on something and result in their utter demise. He's reluctant to release a hand from the driver's torso for even a second due to the fear of flying off of the bike, but even so, he swiftly reaches up and snatches the stray scarf ends and holds them down against the person's left shoulder.

He ducks his head, no pun intended, when a bullet zooms by. When he reluctantly turns his head, he sees that the other, clearly more insane person also has a motorcycle, and is now pursuing them with a pistol in hand as opposed to a shotgun.

"WHERE DID YOU GUYSTH GET THESTHE GUNSTH?!" Daffy screams, exasperated and really just wanting to go home at this point.

This chase continues for a short while longer, until Daffy's "savior" makes a sharp turn in front of a moving car, making Daffy emit a short shriek not unlike that of the vehicle's tires as it brakes hard and turns, blocking their pursuer's immediate path.

Daffy is granted the amusing sight at that point of getting to watch their pursuer fly right over their heads, having been flung from his motorcycle.

"HA _HAAA!_" Daffy shouts as they drive by him, "_STHUCK_ IT!"

His driver, for the first time, makes a sound, albeit a very short and quiet one, almost like a brief snicker.

* * *

Daffy is not please when they stop in an alleyway.  
"What?! All of thisth bull, and you don't even have a place for me to sthtay?"

The driver gets off of the bike and takes a few steps, appearing to ignore him.

"Don't turn your back to me like that! You worthle-"

The driver unzips his biking suit and begins to strip.

"Wh-..." Daffy watches intently, despite being confused.

The driver has gray fur, which is dirty and matted, and also covered by various scars. When he bends to push the suit down his long, narrow legs, a fluffy tail with a white stripe down the back pops out.

Daffy stares, dumbfounded and silent.

The rabbit-tailed driver of the motorcycle throws the suit to the side and removes his baseball cap, allowing his long ears to show. He then removes his sunglasses, and throws them aside with the cap.  
Not removing the scarf, he slowly turns to face the stunned duck who still sits on the motorcycle behind him.

"B-... B-Bugsth...?"

"Hello, Daffy."


	2. Valere la Pena

"B-... B-Bugsth...?"

"Hello, Daffy."

For a long moment, Daffy Duck can only stare in silence. The seemingly-reckless motorcyclist who might have just saved his life has turned out to be none other than the presumably-dead Bugs Bunny.

Bugs adjusts the scarf he wears, still not removing it, and Daffy flinches somewhat when he remembers why the scarf might be necessary...

_"You promised you wouldn't hoit Daffy! Daffy... Oh God, Daffy, I'm so sorry... I didn't want d'is to happen...! Daffy...!"_

_"He can't heah you anymowe, wabbit."_

_Sobs._

_"And now, no one eveh will."_

_Gunshot. Blood. Bugs falling back, red spewing from his throat. Point-blank._  
_Daffy clutches his stomach. He'd been shot, too._

"Daffy."

The black duck snaps out of his trance and looks up at the rabbit in front of him. Brown eyes. Just like Bugs.

"... Isth... Isth it really you...?"

"How many od'ers do y'know d'at're like me, Daff?" The hare responds with a small smirk.

"You..." Daffy shakes his head and holds his hands up. "No, no. Thisth isthn't right."

Bugs raises a brow. "What do ya mean?"

"You're _dead_." Daffy replies, now pointing accusingly at Bugs. "You got shot in the throat. There'sth no way you could've lived."

"Daff..."

"It wasth a shotgun! You were shot with a shotgun! _In the throat!_"

"Daffy."

"I'm just stheeing thingsth. Go away. Don't-"

Bugs rips off his scarf, revealing an obvious scar and stitches galore. Daffy stops talking at the sight of it, and almost feels himself begin tearing up.

"D'at enough proof fer ya, or do y'need more?" The scarred rabbit grumbles, almost glaring at the shorter duck in front of him.

Daffy blinks sadly. "Stho, you've... You've been alive thisth whole time...?"

Putting his scarf back on, Bugs manages a subtle '_yes_'.

"You've been alive thisth whole time... and you never, not even _oncthe_, came to _sthee_ me?"

Bugs looks at Daffy, as if surprised by this accusation. "You got my package, didn't you? And my letter?"

"W-well, yeah, but...!"

"It let ya know I was still alive and d'at it wasn't safe t'be around me. Wasn't d'at enough?"

"How wasth I to know whether or not it wasth really you that sthent the package, Bugsth?!" Daffy shouts. "There are a lot of cruel people in the world, y'know?! For all I knew, it wasth justht sthomeone playing a joke on me!"

Listening to this, Bugs seems saddened. However, he only says, "I'm more d'an aware of d'at. I was just hopin' you had fait' in me."

Daffy isn't sure how to respond. He crosses his arms quietly over his chest and glances down at the concrete ground beneath them.  
Bugs sighs, looking at Daffy. He wants to apologize better, but before he can think of the words to say, he sees, over Daffy's shoulder, someone walking into the alleyway they stand in.

"Daffy." The name muttered quickly makes Daffy look up.

"What?"

"Get on t'e bike."

"... Why?"

"_Get on t'e bike._" Bugs repeats urgently, his eyes not moving from their target.  
Daffy turns to see the other biker marching toward them, pistol still in hand. With their free hand, they remove their helmet...

... Daffy then finds Wile E. Coyote to be glaring at Bugs with his jaundice eyes, and is left speechless. He glances at Bugs, who hits his arm as if to further convince him to get onto the motorcycle beside them.

"Bugsth...!"

"_Shut up and get on!_"

Being screamed at seems to work, and Daffy finally gets onto the bike.

Bugs gets on behind him. "Drive, Daff!"

"_What?!_ I don't know how to drive a motorcycle!"

"_DRIVE!_"

Despite having no clue what in the world he's doing, Daffy manages to start the bike, and starts trying to drive. Needless to say, he's screaming as he does.

Daffy's zig-zagging makes them a harder target to hit, but by chance, Wile E.'s wild shooting manages to peg Bugs in the shoulder as they speed away. Instead of screaming or yelping, the hare manages to just bite his lower lip and suppress any noise.

"Where are we going?!" Daffy asks shakily (not because of fear, but because of the rumbling of the bike under him), not realizing that Bugs has been hit due to the lack of a pained noise.

"Away..." Bugs manages to say through grit teeth.

"What?! I can't hear you! Thisth bike isth too loud!" The duck shouts.

"What are you talkin' about? Daffy, d'is motorcycle is hardly making a sound."

Daffy frowns. "Oh. Stho it isth."

"Just get us out of here..."

"What?!"

Bugs sighs, shaking his head with a smile on his face. "What am I gonna do wit' you, Daff?"


	3. Parlare col Muro

Daffy Duck is uncertainly driving the motorcycle into the night with Bugs Bunny's arms wrapped around his midsection. The hare-rabbit hybrid has long since drifted to sleep, and now has his head buried into the black feathers of Daffy's shoulder. Driving the motorcycle being unnerving in itself, the duck can't deny that driving with Bugs' large ears in his face makes it worse.

"Bugsth?" Daffy finally manages to stammer. In response to the sound and slight vibration of Daffy due to the vocalization, Bugs does nothing more but adjust his head a tad. The duck opens his mouth to perhaps shout, but then rethinks his options when he notices that he just happens to be driving towards a motel.

"Well, that'sth convenient."

Bugs grumbles.

Once in the motel parking lot, Daffy just barely manages to stall the motorcycle. Not wanting to leave Bugs outside, he picks up the hare.  
"Maybe thisth bike isthn't stho bad, after all."

Almost as if on a comical cue, the bike abruptly falls apart.

"Yeah, okay, I take that back now."

* * *

When the small bell on the reception desk is rung, the owner of the motel, a large redheaded woman with a rutilant nose, comes forward.  
"Hello?" She calls, but stops short. No one's there... but then how was the bell rung?

"Hey, busthter. I'm down here."

A motel owner looks down to find a small duck holding a somewhat taller scar-covered rabbit, who is asleep, in its arms.

"Well, _I'll_ be. Aren't you two precious?"

"We need a room key." The duck says bluntly.

"Why, sure, I'd be happy to help you two out. I just need you to sign the register."

"My handsth are kind of full here, lady. What do you expect me to do, grow an extra arm?"

"Of course. I could just fill it out for you."

"Becausthe, y'know, I probably could if I... Oh. Okay."

The happy-go-lucky-even-late-at-night motel owner smiles and picks up the register. "What's your name, dear?"

"The name'sth _Duck Dodgersth_." The little black duck replies melodramatically. "And don't you forget it."

After filling out the register, the owner puts it down and pulls a key from the wall. "You'll find this key opens room 103, dear."

"Justht put the key on my bill. I'll manage."

The hotel owner gently puts the key on the curve of the duck's orange bill.

"Thanksth, Rudolph." With that, the short duck readjusts his hold on the rabbit and leaves the reception area.

The motel owner puts his elbows on the desk and looks at the register. "... _Duke Dodger._ What a darling little name."

* * *

Standing in front of the door to room 103, Daffy isn't quite sure what to do.

"... Hm. Maybe I should've asthked her to open the door for me." He mumbles before glancing down at Bugs' face. The hare, with the end of his scarf now tied around his shoulder for some reason, doesn't look entirely comfortable in Daffy's scrawny arms, even despite the small layer of down that his sleek black feathers had beneath them.

With a sigh, Daffy carefully puts Bugs' feet on the ground. Instead of carrying the rabbit, he now has him pulled to his chest with one arm, which allows him now to grab the key from his bill.  
"Gotcha." Putting the key into the lock and turning it, he opens the door and enters. After closing the door and nearly tripping on Bugs' dangling legs eight separate times somehow, the duck gets the lights on and freezes. (Literally.)

It turns out that room 103 has only one bed. Daffy (, after defrosting,) blinks, and it occurs to him why.

"Oh my _God_. She thinksth... She thinksth I'm here to..." He looks at Bugs, his bill now practically red. "Well, at leastht now I have a sthtory to tell, I guessth..."

Too tired to consider filing a long complaint and calling up his lawyers, Daffy instead sighs again and lifts Bugs again. He places the hare on the bed, which for motel standards actually isn't too offensive to the eyes, and watches the rabbit try to get comfortable.

"..." Daffy's brow furrows. Bugs is smiling a bit, or at least it seems that way with his face pulled up by the pillow he's smooshed his face against.

_"Sorry, Daff. I just don't feel d'at way for you."_

_"What?"_

_"I love you, Daff. But I'm not romantically intoirested in ya."_

_"... Then... Who are you 'romantically interesthted' in?"_

_"You know who."_

Daffy averts his eyes. Bugs isn't his, even now, he can tell. He wonders what the story is about their current situation. Why is Wile E. Coyote hunting them? If Daffy were any less of a pessimist, he might be thinking that maybe Bugs changed his mind; that Bugs decided he wanted to leave the crazed coyote and instead return to his heroic(-ly self-centered) duck.

But there was a part of Daffy that thought there was no way in hell that was the case. Bugs had gone Stockholm once. Surely he was still, in some way, interested in Wile E.

"Maybe it'sth a game..." Daffy whispers to himself. "He'sth being difficult... Wantsth to sthee justht how far that damn coyote will go for him..."  
He's jealous. He just can't understand what's going on in Bugs' head. Why would Bugs Bunny be interested in toying with such a dangerous, feral animal?

The duck snaps out of his trance when he hears Bugs grumble again. Turning over onto his covered shoulder seems to make Bugs uncomfortable.

"Sthtupid... Why'd you wrap your sthcarf stho tightly around your arm?" Daffy mutters, rolling his eyes. However, when he removes the scarf, he discovers why it had been tied so: Bugs had tried to hide the gunshot wound he'd received earlier whilst fleeing from Wile E.

Daffy stares at the wound.  
Blood.  
It's bleeding slightly.  
The _blood._

_"DAFFY! !"_

_Bang._

**_Blood._**

The duck tears his eyes away from the wound, realizing that staring at it will destroy him. After a long pause, he rushes to the phone on one of the poorly-wallpapered walls in the motel room. Taking the phone off of the hook, he reaches to hit "9" and dial 911, but he stops mid-motion.

He can't call anyone. If anyone else gets involved, god only knows what might happen. How many others knew Bugs Bunny was still alive, anyway?  
Still... He can't do this alone.  
Biting his lower lip with teeth he shouldn't technically have as a duck, Daffy dials a different number, praying that he remembers it correctly.

"Hello, you've reached Pete's Pizza Parlor. My name's Matt. How may I help you?"

"_Ooh~!_" Daffy coos. "Hey, Mark. Mike. _Whatever_. I'd like to order... No, wait. Sthorry, wrong number."  
Before Matt can reply (by saying how hurt he is that his name was not considered important), Daffy drops the call and redials, swapping a digit.

It takes a couple of rings, but soon enough, there's an answer.

"H-h-h-h-hello?" A groggy voice stutters on the other end.

"Hey there, bub! How'sth your night goin'?" Daffy tries to seem cheerful.

"D-D-Daffy? Is th-i-th-th-a-th-is-"

"Yeah. Yeah, it'sth me."

"Where are you right now? Wh-why are you calling me at this h-h-a-at th-th-s-so late at night?"

"I'm at thisth motel. Listhten, you're not gonna believe thisth."

"What is it?"

Noting the impatience in the voice, Daffy bluntly says, "Bugsth is alive."

"W-wait, what?"

"He'sth alive, but he'sth hurt. I need _your_ _help_, Porky."


	4. Fare le Ore Piccole

_When Bugs Bunny awoke, he found himself to be staring up at dark brown stone. Despite seeing only this, he already knew where he was. The texture of the stone was the same as the stone that made up the ceiling of Wile E. Coyote's little desert cave._

_With a yawn, the hare sat up and stretched. "Wile E.?" He called weakly._

_No answer._

_Bugs sighed and stood, a hand on the small of his back; he still ached from the previous night. In the so-called dining room, Bugs discovered two carrots waiting for him on the table, alongside a note. Not touching the carrots, Bugs skimmed the note with sleepy eyes._

_"Bugs,_  
_"If you're reading this, I'm outside trying to catch that pesky Roadrunner._  
_"You're growing rather scrawny, Bunny, so I left two carrots for you._  
_"Hopefully I'll be able to catch us a real meal today._  
_"~ Wile E. Coyote, Genius"_

_Bugs blinked and looked vacantly at the wall._  
_In a hoarse, unstable voice, he counted, "Three, two, one."_

_Snap._  
_Yelp._

_The bunny sighed. There was another trap backfiring. He loved this coyote, but he was a real good-for-nothing klutz, Bugs had to admit._

_From behind him, Bugs heard the door open. A sigh filled the air, and Bugs quietly put the note down on the table, but didn't turn to face Wile E._

_"Oh, Bunny. You're awake."_

_The coyote's deep voice, hardly used but still smooth, made Bugs shudder a tad._

_"I see you found the carrots."_

_"Shame _you_ can't eat d'em, Doc." Bugs said as casually as he could with such an injured throat. "Seeing as you can't seem t'catch d'at '_pesky Roadrunner_'."_

_"Oh, that's just it."_

_Bugs quickly whipped around to look at Wile E. with wide, brown eyes. Slung over scrawny-but-broad brown-furred shoulder was a blue-feathered bird with yellow legs._

_"You're _joking._" The hare managed to mumble._

_"After all these years, I've finally caught him!" Wile E. purrs through a sharp-toothed grin._

_Bugs doesn't know what to say. The Roadrunner seemed like such a good guy. Sure, he was probably more than a tad illiterate, and certainly incapable of speech, but Bugs liked him regardless._

_Slamming the bird down onto the table, Wile E. turns his back on Bugs and the Roadrunner by turning to look through his selection of unopened wine bottles._

_"Now, what wine would go best with wild game?" He pondered aloud._

* * *

Searing pain in his shoulder is what awakens Bugs Bunny a second time. He jolts up, clutching the offending shoulder. "Oh, _God-!_" He hisses between his teeth.

"Bugsthie, relax."

"D-Daffy, what...?"

"Porky'sth justht cleaning your... _wound._" Daffy has trouble saying the last word, but it's the first word that attracts Bugs' attention. Turning his head, Bugs sees none other than Porky Pig sitting beside him, holding a slightly-bloody cloth in one hand and a bottle of disinfectant in the other.

"Porky?" Bugs is confused. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"W-w-well," The pig stammers honestly, "D-Daffy called me and told me you were a-a-alive and that you needed my h-he-hel-h-h-a-assistance."

Bugs shoots Daffy a look that conveys an emotion that's hard to describe in words.

Responding to this look, Daffy fumbles out, "I noticthed you were hurt, stho I really had no choicthe but to get help. I didn't think it wasth sthmart to get an ambulance."

Bugs relaxed a bit. "You made the right call d'ere, Daffy. I would'a strangled you if y'got d'at kind of attention on us."

Porky puts the cloth over the opening of the disinfectant bottle and briefly pours a bit more onto it. "Th-th-this might sting."

"Go ahead." Bugs says, mentally preparing himself for the burn.

"Bugsth?"

"Yeah, Daffy?" Bugs croaks through grit teeth as Porky wipes the gunshot wound.

"You never really told me what'sth going on. Why you're-"

"I don't really wanna talk about d'is in front of Porky." After a small pause, Bugs glances at Porky. "No offense, Doc."

"N-none t-t-taken." The pig replies as he pulls out some gauze from a little bag he brought with him.

"You are gonna tell me eventually though, right?" Daffy asks.

"_Eventually_." Bugs stresses the word as Porky wraps the gauze around his arm.

"Th-th-there." Porky says as he closes the bag. "This is the b-best I can do on such short notice. I still think you should see a d-d-d-medical professional, though."

"D'anks, Porky."

The pig stands. "I guess I'll take my leave now."

"Porky, could you maybe keep d'is a secret for now? My being alive, I mean." Bugs asks.

"Sure." Porky heads for the door. "Goodnight, guys. Keep in t-touch, okay?"

"Thanksth for coming, Porksther." Daffy says distantly.

Surprised to even hear _anything_ polite from Daffy, Porky smiles. "It was my p-pleasure."

After Porky takes his leave, Bugs stands and heads for the door, locking it. Behind him, Daffy stands and looks at him.  
Slowly, cautiously, Bugs turns his head to look at the duck.

"Bugsth, I'm... I'm happy you're alive."

The hare smiles a little. "I'll tell you everyt'ing, Daff... Just not tonight. I think we're bot' too tired for d'at right now."

As an awkward silence forms between the two, Bugs feels the tension. It's not a pleasant feeling for him. Calmly, he heads for the bed, laying down on one side. He pats the other side, silently telling Daffy to join him.

"Wait, you... You wanna share the bed?" The duck asks.

"You seem soiprised. Don't you want to sleep on a bed t'night?"

Timidly, Daffy lays down beside the rabbit. Neither of them move for what feels like an eternity.

"... B-Bugsth, I-"

"Goodnight, Daffy." Bugs shuts Daffy down before he can even start, and turns over, revealing his back to Daffy.

"I... G-... Goodnight, then..." Clearing his throat, Daffy turns as well and tries to sleep, getting the hint.

Bugs, on the other hand, simply lays there for a while, his eyes wide open. He feels bad, because he knows that Daffy still cares about him. He feels bad because he knows he's given the duck false hope. He _wants_ to like Daffy in that way, he _does_, but he can't let himself succumb to those feelings.  
He's _scared_.

Daffy turns over onto his other side, and Bugs looks down somewhat, knowing that he's probably being stared at right now.

'_Don't do it..._' The hare pleads in his head.

He feels a very slight shift of position in Daffy as the duck raises an arm.

"_Daffy_..." Bugs whispers, trying to sound intimidating but not being able to. He's freezing up. Not good.

The duck's hand rests itself gently atop Bugs' uninjured shoulder. The touch feels awkward and somber, but even so, Bugs turns to face Daffy. They're so close now that Daffy's long bill is nearly touching Bugs' tiny pink nose.

Looking into Daffy's eyes, Bugs remembers part of why he's so uncomfortable. There's something different about Daffy in moments like these that he doesn't quite know how to describe. The little black duck goes from loud, self-centered, and arrogant, to quiet, selfless, and timid. He almost becomes the polar opposite of himself, revealing his more sensitive side whether he means to or not.

"Daffy..." Bugs whispers again. He gulps before he shakily, uncertainly, manages to say, "Daff... Snap out of it, huh? I'm... I'm not _youis_, alright?"

"Yeah, I know..." Daffy mumbles gently. Bugs feels a pang of guilt, and his brow twists with emotion.

"You've gotta let me go, Daff..."

"I wish I could..."

Bugs looks away, and Daffy suddenly gets up.

"Where are you goin', Daff...?" Bugs asks.  
'_Don't leave. Please._'

Without speaking, Daffy turns off the light and returns, laying down a little bit further from Bugs this time.

"Daffy..."

"Goodnight, Bugs."

The gray hare frowns. He wants to console Daffy, but knows he can't.  
"... G-... Goodnight, Daff..."


End file.
